To you who has such power over me…

It seems apparent that I hold strong feelings for you. Though I know not how I allowed these flowers to take bloom. I feel Sorrow that it has caused you grief, that it has motivated me to act irrationally, and perhaps selfishly. As it has been to my shame.

Yet, I have placed this part of me behind a door, that I might stand in front of it. Though this door seems fragile, and I know you have the power to draw it out of me… that even the slightest poke would shatter the thin veil which holds it back. But to do so without the will to take responsibility is cruel, and I know you will not be there for me if it is once again released. As I know that you delight in no cruelties against me. So please, do not ask me to look upon it, for I can only hold it back. let the signs of it pass unnoticed by your eyes, but please do not look away from me. Never should you hide yourself away from me, for even as they bloom I shall pick these flowers and cast them behind the door. Even as I take just a moment to smell their sweet nectar, I shall place them one by one behind me. I would keep these flowers as my own, even should you never return to lay a claim. The the me that stands before the door will look at you and smile, for he has found his strength in your will to see him.

Perhaps it seemed a little thing to you, a few steps, not far from where we were. Yet to me it was a distance great in span. For in my heart, I was as close to you as ever I might imagine. Perhaps you thought that in my mind, my Love held some distinction from the the Love I have for she who was before you. But the only difference between them, is that I know her Love… that it is true. I have no doubt that she would have me now and ever more. I Love her without fear for she Loves me in return. My Love for her is complete, regardless of fear, regardless if I am Loved or not, it is simply with all that I am that I Love her. She is of the same tree as me, our roots feed from the same soil, drink of the same water, we carry each other’s branches. You too were this to me, and now you are but a branch… so far away from the roots that feed me. A great distance to me, this space between us. So perhaps you might see now, what a difficult thing it was you asked of me, how hard it must have been… for now you are so far away from me, my friend.